Comments One or Team Sponsorship

C

Raphael: Michael, why are you supporting a junior high tennis team?

Michael: Setsuna suggested it.

Raphael: …that shouldn’t make as much sense as it does.

B

Setsuna-the-one-man-cheering-section: Yeah! Go Fudoumine! Waste those bastards!

Michael: *standing on the fence* Fuck you!

Sakaki: *hand over eyes*

Ryouma: I don’t know any of these people. You?

Kamio: Not a single one.

Comments Two or Why Tezuka Sometimes Hates Us

L

Tezuka: I hate you all. [glares]

[pets the buchou] You could have just signed on with Michael, dear.

Tezuka: Don’t I have enough problems to deal with? Momo would make one crack—you
know he would—and the whole school would have gone up. Tachibana’s better
with that kind of thing.

B

Tachibana: *smug* Of course I am. You know, Tezuka, if you were just a little
closer to your people I’m sure they would answer far more readily
to your hand.

Tezuka: *level look* …did you just suggest what I think you just suggested?

Tachibana: No, of course I didn’t. *examines nails*

Tezuka: Leave me alone.

L

[falls out of her chair]

Tezuka, darling, we *can’t* leave you alone. You’re too much fun for that.

Besides, I’m sure that your team would happily shag you, if you wanted it
that way.

Tezuka: … [stalks off]

Seiichi: I think you hurt his feelings.

B

Nah, not his feelings, just his repression.

Tezuka: *glares*

What? You know any one of them would bend over for you. Even Echizen.

Tezuka: Do you mind?

Not in the least. *sweet smile*

L

Especially Echizen, if you ask me. Boy’s got it bad for his buchou.

Tezuka: [hand over face] I’m not hearing this.

And the Fujis! I bet you could be the filling in a Fuji-sandwich!

Tezuka: Lalalalala I can’t hear you!

And haven’t you ever wondered whether Taka-san would go into burning mode
in bed?

Tezuka: Please, God, kill me now.

B

Lucifer: Sorry, Setsuna and I offed him already. I suppose I could kill you,
if you really want.

Tezuka: *hopeful* You would?

Lucifer: *leans on wall* Sure. Of course, you would owe me, then…

Tezuka: I’m doomed.

L

Seiichi: You say that like it’s a bad thing.

Tezuka: You stay out of this. You have biases.

Seiichi: And you don’t? Really, Tezuka. All of that repression can’t be good
for you.

Tezuka: [glare] What works for one team doesn’t work for another.

B

Yeah. *sighs* Not everyone can rule through raw sex appeal.

Tezuka: *opens mouth, closes it* I’m… *glares*

Almost got ya. *grins*

L

Seiichi: [gently] Is it really so difficult to let go, Kunimitsu?

Tezuka: [eyebrows going up] I am not one of yours, Seiichi.

Seiichi: [sigh] More’s the pity.

Coments Three or Debates on Who Wins What

L

Michael: Aw, come on, it’s not like Rikkai hasn’t won for the past
how many years?

Tachibana: Besides which fact, you’ve got the team for eternity. One junior
high championship isn’t that big a deal, in the long term.

B

Belial: *grumbles*

Seiichi: *soothing* Now, now. We’ll all play our best, and what happens happens.
Playing the strongest is a good deal of satisfaction in itself.

Belial: *eyes* If you say so.

L

Tezuka: But—but—we’re the protagonists!

Michael: …

Tachibana: [with satisfaction] Not in this AU, you’re not.

C

Ryouma: Come on, Buchou, it’s not like I’m not going to get everyone to go
to heaven and hell just so that we can keep playing tennis after we die.

Tezuka: ……..

Eriol: I find your ideas fascinating and would like to subscribe to your
newsletter.

L

Tachibana: [smug] It’s good to be me.

Tezuka: Fine, fine, you win.

Michael: Well, yeah, that’s the point.

Tezuka: [considers taking up heavy drinking]

B

Sanada: *holds out sake bottle* Drink up. It doesn’t really help, but it distracts
you from the agony.

Belial: Agony? Excuse one? One is considerably more skillful than that.

Tezuka: *bottle half way to mouth* Sanada. Did he just say what I think he
said?

Sanada: No. No, he didn’t. Pass the bottle back this way, will you?

L

Tezuka: [passes the bottle back] So, your team and Mad Hatter?

Sanada: [healthy drink] …

Tezuka: [worried] That’s not… standard… is it?

Sanada: [passes the bottle back] How the hell should I know?

Tezuka: Fuck. [drinks]

B

*author pops up cheerfully* Oh, probably not, not unless you finally decide
to take Ryouma up on what he is so obviously offering.

Tezuka: *dire glare* You can inflict demons and angels and even relatives
on me, but you will never corrupt my captainly ethics!

Sanada: *quietly* You know, it really isn’t a good idea to give them challenges
like that.

L

Em-chibi: Gen-chan is absolutely right, you know. That sounded like a challenge
to me. I’m sure Fuji could talk Yuuta into a buchou sandwich.

Tezuka: [pales]

Sanada: [taking an interest in spite of himself] I’d say he’s more of an
Echizen-type.

Em-chibi: You think?

Tezuka: [waving hands] Right. Here. I’m standing RIGHT HERE.

Sanada: Definitely. Or possibly Oishi. Buchou/Fukubuchou* has a lot to be
said for it.

Tezuka: [strangles]

———

*Originally typed as "fuckubuchou" which indicates where my mind
is.

C

Eriol: I’m perfectly willing to lock my cute relative in a room with anyone
you ladies could suggest. Or everyone, depending on your preference.

Sanada: Do you, by any chance, know the Mad Hatter?

Eriol: Only by reputation, unfortunately. I’ve never met that charming personage.

Sanada: …I’m going to go find another bottle.

L

Em-chibi: Then I say we lock Tezuka in with his team and let the pants
chips fall where they may.

Tezuka: [has a heart attack]

Raphael: Oh, now that won’t do at all. [resurrects Tezuka]

Tezuka: [whimpers] Why do you all hate me so?

Raphael: This isn’t hate, this is entertainment.

Comments Four or Contributing to the Delinquency of Minors

B

Hisoka: *hand to head* So, did I hear that someone around here has booze?

L

Sanada: You want booze? We got booze.

Tezuka: Sake, scotch, vodka, whiskey, what’s your pleasure?

Yukimura: I never would have figured you for a bartender, Tezuka.

Tezuka: Go away; you’re not allowed in this club. [makes shooing motions]

Cam

By the time you’re done, half the boys will be alcoholics. And then, their
charges will have even more freedom to do as they please.

Tezuka: Perhaps we should cut back.

Sanada: Right after this one.

B

*pets Sanada* There, there, dear, take heart. You’re about to get some.

Sanada: …Tezuka, pass me the whole bottle.

Tezuka: *doubtful* Well, yes, but Cam has a point.

Sanada: Do you really think being sober would stop these three?

Tezuka: …you have a point, too. *takes a healthy swig*

L

Hisoka: And when you’re done, pass that bottle back down this way. [ruminates]
Think anyone would miss that Mizuki fellow?

Tezuka: Shh. Fuji’ll hear you.

Hisoka: Like that’s going to stop me? [drinks]

B

Tezuka: *looks Hisoka up and down* Well, no, not really, but if you give him
ideas he might beat you to it.

Hisoka: Oh.

Tezuka: *thoughtful, and swaying slightly* Or he might decide he likes Mizuki
today, and try to do you in first. Is that lover of yours possessive or obssessive
or anything troublesome like that?

Hisoka: *red* Tsuzuki is not my lover!

Sanada: Better not let the Authors know that. They’ll have you in bed with
him in a flash. They like to torture us, you know.

Hisoka: *morose* I figured that part out, yeah.

L

Sanada: Not that some of us are too good to be tossed into bed with
our teammates, of course. [meaningful look at Tezuka]

Tezuka: [blinking] Are you trying to say something, Sanada?

Sanada: [expansive] Not at all. If I were trying, I’d say that you’re
a prig with a stick up his ass and that getting laid would do you a world
of good. But then, I’m not trying to say anything.

Hisoka: [faintly alarmed] [relieves Tezuka and Sanada of their booze] Ummm,
guys…?

B

Tezuka: *narrow glare* So. I take it you would hop right into bed with Echizen,
if he just happened to be on your team instead of mine?

Sanada: Hell, for all I know, he’s going to show up at the orgy.

Hisoka: *faintly* Orgy?

L

Tezuka: Orgy?!

Sanada: [shrug] These things happen. [thoughtful] I bet we could send Echizen
an invitation…

Tezuka: [chokes]

Hisoka: Should he be turning that shade of blue?

Sanada: Probably not.