Toshiki knew what he wanted; he just didn’t know how to ask for it.

This would be a lot easier if it were Kazuki, but Kazuki had been away on work for the last two days and he and Juubei had never been good at saying what they meant, to each other. In fact, they usually had to have just finished beating the daylights out of each other or be otherwise under duress, he admitted to himself ruefully. So he took his time getting undressed for bed this evening, turning over possible approaches in his head and rejecting them one after another.

"Toshiki," Juubei said from behind him, "is something wrong?"

Toshiki turned to stare in absolute disbelief, at least until he spotted Juubei’s fingers hovering over his needle case on the dresser. Of course, if Juubei noticed he would think it was some kind of danger sign. He sighed. "No, it’s nothing like that. I just…"

Wonderful; how to finish that sentence?

Juubei cocked his head, giving Toshiki a very direct look for a blind man. "What?"

Toshiki took a breath and let it out. No way through but forward, and at least that was a way he was familiar with. He came to stand by Juubei, one hand against his bare chest. "Juubei. Take me to bed?" he asked, low.

Juubei was still under his hand for a moment, and then his own hand lifted to cup Toshiki’s jaw. "Is that what it was?"

Toshiki nodded.

"Is that what it’s been the past few times?"

Toshiki groaned, knowing Juubei would feel the heat of Toshiki’s face against his palm. He should have known. "You noticed?"

"I noticed you were… hesitant at moments. Even with Kazuki." Juubei’s thumb brushed the corner of his mouth. "I didn’t realize why. I hadn’t thought this would be something you wanted from me."

Toshiki let his head thump down on Juubei’s shoulder. "You annoy the hell out of me sometimes," he said quietly. "You always have. You’re too proud for words, you’re highhanded, you think you’re always right, and someone really needs to take that poker out of your ass. But you’re my friend, you’re the one I fight beside, you’re the one who brought me back." Very softly, he finished, "I want this."

"Then of course," Juubei said, as easily as that, and Toshiki let go a breath of laughter. When he lifted his head Juubei pulled him closer and touched his cheek again, finding his mouth.

The kiss started out slow, but Toshiki knew it wouldn’t stay that way; not with the two of them. They pressed closer, kissing deeper, tongues stroking and pushing against each other until they were almost swaying, wrapped hard around each other’s bodies, mouths locked together.

"Yes," Toshiki gasped, breaking away to slide his open mouth down the line of Juubei’s throat. This was what he wanted. Love between them had always been half a fight. Juubei growled in agreement and pushed Toshiki down onto the bed, following swiftly. Their hands stroked over each other’s bodies as if seeking holds, and Toshiki moaned as Juubei’s closed between his legs, firm and hot. He pulled Juubei in tighter, moving against him.

Juubei kissed him hard and said, husky, against his mouth, "Stop worrying. I won’t let you go."

A sharp shiver ran through Toshiki. "Juubei…"

Juubei’s free hand stroked up and down his back, slowly, sliding down to his thigh and back up, pressing, and Toshiki shuddered with the sudden release of tension. He needed to remember, he thought lightheadedly, that he was not the only one trained in hands-on techniques.

"I’m a healer first, even here and now," Juubei said, low, and Toshiki pressed closer, breath quick and light.

"I know. That’s why I asked."

"Ah." Juubei pressed him back against the bed and both hands stroked over Toshiki’s body, firm and confident. Toshiki could feel the pressure of Juubei’s touch in his very blood, demanding that his body give up its strain, its tension and fear, and he moaned as his body obeyed. When Juubei gathered him close again he was lax, muscles uncoiled, dizzy with the release.

"It’s…" Unlike his hands, Juubei’s voice was uncertain. "It’s good to know you need me. As I need you."

"Always." Toshiki laughed, husky. "I said it, didn’t I? You’re the one who brought me back."

"Yes. And I won’t let you go again. You have my word."

Toshiki pressed closer, reassured; apparently they could say what they meant after all, if they spoke with their hands. "Yes."

It was less frantic when they touched each other this time, slower and hotter, and his body was already taut with pleasure when Juubei’s fingers pushed between his cheeks, slick and slow. He buried a groan against Juubei’s shoulder, hands sliding down to grip the tight muscle of Juubei’s ass, rocking into that easy thrust. It felt good, sure and strong, something he could trust to without hesitation.

There was still such a thing as too slow, though, and finally he ground his hips against Juubei’s and gasped, "Juubei, now."

Juubei chuckled, breathless. "All right." His hands slid up the backs of Toshiki’s thighs to catch his knees and spread them wide, and then his cock was pressing into Toshiki’s ass, slow and hard.

"Yes." Toshiki’s arms tightened around Juubei’s shoulders. "Yes." He moaned as Juubei drew back and thrust in again, moving over him, fucking him hard and steady. The stretch and slide of it spilled heat down his spine, and he relaxed into it, into Juubei’s presence and solidity and care, the things he’d always cherished.

"With you," he gasped. "Always."

Juubei caught him closer. "Yes."

The sharper angle stole his breath, and he bucked up into Juubei’s thrust, and again, and moaned openly as pleasure flashed down his nerves, breaking through him like a wave. Juubei gasped, over him, and drove in deeper, again and again, and when the shudders of heat finally faded they were locked together, panting. Toshiki relaxed with a soft groan, and Juubei eased back from him.

"Mm, don’t go." Toshiki stretched out and pulled Juubei back down over him with a satisfied sound at his weight.

"I won’t."

They lay, twined together comfortably, and Toshiki settled the peace of the moment, of the things Juubei had promised him, into his heart where they wouldn’t get lost. This was his place, and he was wanted here. Needed. Valued.

And he would stay.